Padre Laws & Guidelines

I know we've been talking about this for awhile, but we should lay down some Padre laws in order to govern ourselves. These aren't restrictions, mind you, but boundries of love that we should follow so we don't stray from our good good Padre faith. For example:

"No Padre member should ever drink Miller Chill."

Why such a silly rule? False if you thought that. The (obvious) warning against drinking Miller Chill is to keep your taste buds ripe for truly good beer and it tastes like shit. Well, green Fruit Loops to be specific. That rule is obviously designed to keep you safe, that way something like this scenario never happens:

Morrison: So I had a Miller Chill last night.. and I really enjoyed it!
Casey: What? Why would you drink that?
Morrison: I don't know, it was sounded good. It's also green.
Casey: Do you know what you just did to your taste buds? Now you're fucked!
Morrison: No way! That's why this Ashton VSG doesn't taste good! Oh man..
Casey: Here, bro. Enjoy this Corona (hands beer to Morrison).
Morrison: Thanks, man. Here's to the road to recovery.
(The two clang their bottles together)

See.. that whole process could have been overted had a rule been in place. An Ashton VSG would have avoided being ruined just because something looked "cool".

So now, let's throw out some other important Padre laws and guidelines to (overall) benefit our lives.

Discuss.

I fully agree with that rule. Michigan 07 was my first run in with the chill. It was so shitty I spilled a fine bottle of Captain Morgan Private Stock. God forbid that ever happens again.